Redefining Typical

A Mother, A Son, A Journey…..with Autism

Vacation without Dawson July 7, 2011

Filed under: autism — Cheairs @ 6:59 pm
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My post today can also be found on my facebook page as a note.  I started to write a status update and then it turned into a “note”. You can either read it my post here or on my facebook page. Your pick! But here it is “Vacation without Dawson”


Photograph taken by my amazing sister Susan Lowe

Mae Mae and I are on a two week vacation together. Laughing with friends, my sisters and their kids. The cousins are “putting on shows” and telling “potty jokes”. I am taking long walks and sweet naps. I feel the tension leaving my bones. I can breathe. My husband and Dawson are at home. Dawson can’t do long vacations. If he were here now I would be following him around a rental house as he turned on faucets and climbed in an out of all of the beds. There would be tension. Like the strings on a violin they would be strung tight. If you played the instrument the wrong way there would be a screech that would make you put your hands to your ears and squint your eyes.  If Dawson were here the orchestra would be out of tune.

The notes cannot be rewritten. They are set. I am okay with that. When Mae Mae and I return home we will have our own musical ensemble with Dawson and Dave. We will have different notes and sheet music. There will be moments in our performances that ring so sweetly and those that just sting.

So I miss my husband. I miss my little Dawsonator.

But I am so happy to have this time with just Mae Mae. She needs this time. She needs the sweet music to encircle her, and I need it to carry me. So I am happy.  I am sad. Like any good music you feel it.

So I hear…..the swirl of the creek, the laughter of children, and rain coming down on the roof. Being a part of this music now, in this special place for my vacation, it gives me the strength. When I return home I will be a stronger musician. I will be ready to be a part of my most unique and special jammin group. Our “Typical Band”  starring Dawson, Mae Mae, Dave and me.

And although our music sounds different than the sweet sounds here in this valley where I am now. It is because of this valley that I can hear and rejoice in the music that is my family and I love that.

Copyright © cheairs graves July, 7, 2011


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